30 Statements to Help Children Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset

We all have beliefs about our own abilities and potential – so do kids. These beliefs form part of our mindset, which is so powerful that they affect how we interpret our life experiences, drive our behaviours and predict our success.

According to research by American psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, there are broadly two types of mindsets that both children and adults may adopt about their own capabilities: growth and fixed mindsets.

Just like how muscles can grow and develop the more you exercise and train them, our brains go through the same process. When we are struggling to lift a weight, we are setting our bodies up to develop muscles to become stronger.

Similarly, when kids are struggling to grasp a concept or master a skill, they are setting up their brain’s capability to grow in response to their efforts. However, when kids are trapped in a fixed mindset, they tend to shy away from challenging tasks, believing that they can never master the task if they lack the natural ability. Hence, they may often lack the opportunity to train and strengthen their (brain) muscles, cognitive abilities, and skill levels.

What are some phrases I can say to cultivate growth mindset in my children?

Teaching a growth mindset to kids as a parent or caregiver can be challenging but it could be one of the most rewarding contributions you make towards their wellbeing and success.

One of the key ways you communicate that belief is through the language you use. Our language when talking to them can exert a profound impact on their attitude and mindset. By using growth mindset phrases, you can help your children learn that success comes from effort and practice, not just intelligence, teaching them to value effort over ease.

Additionally, studies have found that praising kids for their effort, rather than for “being smart” or “talented”, helps them cultivate a growth mindset. Phrases that compliment children for their hard work (aka a growth mindset) will encourage them to put in more effort to achieve their goals, even if it does not come naturally to them.

Below are 30 growth mindset phrases you can use to encourage your children:

• 1. “Well done, I noticed how hard you worked on that project/assignment/homework.”

  This focuses on praising a child’s process and effort instead of the final product. Even if your child’s end result isn’t perfect, it is best to commend them for their hard work and applaud them for learning along the way. The crux lies in how they approach a challenge, and not in the outcome.

• 2. “Let’s problem-solve together.”

  Children may think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. However, if you offer support when your child seems stuck, it can help them come up with a solution instead of getting frustrated and giving up.

• 3. “You can do hard things.”

  Children may shy away from trying new things that seem too challenging, especially if they have a fixed mindset. Encouraging them to try these seemingly difficult tasks is a good chance to show them they may be more capable than they originally believed.

• 4. “You’re on the right track.”

  This statement can encourage children who feel like they are not getting anywhere when trying to reach a goal. It affirms that they are making progress. It also helps children attribute success to their efforts rather than their innate abilities because they are receiving praise for their work that has been completed so far.

• 5. “What did you learn from this experience?”

  Asking your child what they learned after experiencing a task can help them reflect on what they could have done differently and what they can improve moving forward. Reminding children of their consistent learning will also show them that they’re growing with each experience they have gone through, rather than focusing on how naturally intelligent or talented they are.

• 6. “What went well?”

  It’s important to highlight the positives when helping kids reach their potential. Don’t just focus on their mistakes and what needs to be changed. Consider what they did right and how they can amplify that success or translate that into other aspects of problem-solving. To get the ball rolling, you may want to start by sharing what you think went well!

• 7. “…yet.”

  If your child says they can’t do something, it can be encouraging to remind them that they can’t do it…yet. This implies that while they might not be able to successfully complete something now, there is still hope in the future that they could master it and achieve a success.

• 8. “Thanks for putting in effort on that task.”

  Valuing your child’s efforts instead of their results can start changing what they view as important. Over time, the child will start to focus on perseverance over perfection, which can help them develop resilience and a growth mindset to pull through hardships.

• 9. “I believe in you.”

  When a child does not believe in themselves, having a parent or adult say they have faith in them can be very uplifting, encouraging them to stay strong, try out new tasks and pull through the difficult parts of an experience.

• 10. “Let’s come up with a different strategy.”

  Helping your child troubleshoot with their method or technique when they are struggling with a task can encourage them to learn and think of a new approach to achieve their desired outcome. This can also help children learn how to strategise effectively so that they approach problems from multiple angles and resist giving up when faced with failure.

• 11. “It’s okay to make mistakes.”

  Everyone makes mistakes, even adults. Hence it’s recommended to remind our kids that making mistakes is not only acceptable, but it’s part of the learning process! Mistakes are a good sign that they are learning and engaging in a productive struggle. Children who embrace learning from mistakes tend to approach challenges with more confidence and are more willing to take risks, which are characteristics of a strong growth mindset.

• 12. “Don’t worry, you have unlimited tries.”

  If your child knows that they can try as many times as they need, they are more likely to be motivated to keep going and be willing to fail a few times in the process to get the outcome they want.

• 13. “It’s okay to not know everything; we learn every day.”

  This emphasises how talent and intelligence can be developed over time, and they are not set in stone from birth, unlike what those with fixed mindsets tend to believe. This also encourages children to be open-minded and adopt a curious attitude to learn from everyday events.

• 14. “This task is going to take some time and effort to achieve.”

  You can give your child a heads-up through this statement that the task is going to be challenging. This will help set their expectations realistically and lower the probability that they will give up immediately if they are not successful at first.

• 15. “Everything is difficult before it is easy.”

  When learning a new skill, the start is often challenging. Yet, this helps to remind children of the importance of practice to improve their skills before they reach mastery. If they look back on the things they have improved upon in the past, it can provide for good anecdotal evidence of the truth in this saying.

• 16. “Did you encounter any fun challenges today?”

  This question helps encourage your child to perceive challenges in a positive light, which can uplift and inspire them to seek out challenges with a growth mindset and kick into problem-solving mode.

• 17. “Your mistakes indicate to me that you are trying.”

  Children often long for the approval of their parents and teachers. Commend the effort that your child is putting forth, regardless of the actual outcome, to show your acceptance and encouragement. By affirming that your child’s mistakes can eventually create positive results, they will be more willing to make them as they try to reach closer to their goals.

• 18. “Aim for progress, not perfection.”

  This teaches children that the goal is to get just a little bit stronger each day. This can help simplify goals that seem unachievable by focusing on the small efforts one can do today that will eventually lead to success.

• 19. “Your answer is correct. What strategy did you use to derive the answer?”

  This helps focus on the strategies used and the process rather than just the end result. This helps children reflect on what they did right and the learning that was undertaken to get to this stage.

• 20. “Let’s give each other honest feedback.”

  You can help your child develop a growth mindset by offering honest feedback. However, don’t focus too much on what went wrong. Instead, you can emphasise how they can learn from their mistakes so they don’t associate negative consequences with making mistakes. Encourage them to give you feedback as well.

• 21. “It is okay to feel frustrated.”

  When a child faces failure and is feeling frustrated, you can validate their feelings and help them to dig deep to find their inner strength and find comfort in the discomfort of failure. You can also add on by encouraging them to consider other strategies or solutions they have yet to try.

• 22. “You are a better version of yourself today.”

  This encourages children to focus on their own improvements and to compare themselves to their progress yesterday to determine how much they have grown rather than making unnecessary (and unhealthy) comparisons with others.

• 23. “You are in the process of figuring it out.”

  The journey of learning and figuring things out is one that can be very long and tedious, even for a child. This statement helps to affirm that and validate your child’s efforts in their journey to grow while reinforcing the relationship between practice and improvement. It also encourages them to keep trying and work towards their goals rather than fixating on the result.

• 24. “Great use of your resources.”

  Children with growth mindset are not afraid to ask for help or make use of available resources. They understand that self-advocacy is essential to their future success. When your child feels safe to ask for help, they understand their own limits, develop greater self-awareness, and can make significant progress with others’ assistance. Along with the right guidance, children can learn to sharpen their communication skills and confidently utilise their resources.

• 25. “I admire your patience.”

  Working through multiple failures can certainly test one’s patience. As your child may be tempted to give up as an easy way out, saying this helps affirm their persistence so far in problem-solving, reducing their chances of giving up despite their previous failed attempts.

• 26. “I love your determination!”

  Acknowledging your child’s determination to succeed can help them maintain their optimism and reinforce them to approach each problem with determination to overcome them.

• 27. “What do you think you could have improved while doing this?"

  Encouraging your child to seek out areas that could be improved upon further reinforces the importance of a process rather than just focusing on the outcome. Doing this regularly can instill a habit of continuous improvement.

• 28. “Let’s reflect on what you did.”

  When children take the time to deeply reflect on their experiences and challenges, they can identify gratifying experiences and things they may aspire to do differently in the future. This encourages children to focus on the process and their own growth. Some guiding prompts to help your child reflect would include:

  • What do you think you did well?

  • What was hard?

  • What did you do to overcome that?

• 29. “How does it feel to be so close to reaching your goal?”

  Asking this question will invite a child to stop and consider their feelings and sense of pride for their hard work and effort put in so far. This little reminder of how far they have come from the beginning can motivate them to finish strong with a growth mindset.

• 30. “Think about where you were ___ ago and look at you now!”

  Whether it was a week or a year ago, this can help children reflect on the progress they have made and maintain hope for their success in the future. Not only does this encourage a growth mindset, but it also reinforces the notion that success is rarely achieved overnight.

The concept of a growth mindset encourages children to overlook the grief or discomfort associated with failure to feel enthusiastic and hopeful about their future success. Using these phrases to instill a growth mindset will help your child become more confident in their abilities and encourage them to keep trying instead of giving up.